OMG!!! I dun believed wat I've juz done. I actually texted Din telling him tt I wanna stop de tutoring session thing for de time being. It has onli been de first session yesterdae. I didnt noe wat promt me to do tt. It must be due to stress. Im like studying frm 1pm till bout 8.30pm in TP lib juz now & nothing seems to get into my brain. It started wif EMATHS1 when I started to confuse maself by trying to combine all de formulas into 1. I seriously didnt noe wat I was doing!! Due to tt, it affected me in doing other subjs such as DFUND1. Im like 'ingat-ingat lupe'. Tts how my brain works.

My stressness is not due to studying wif aeynn & tini. Infact, I feel more comfortable studing wif dem despite them studying for their Os. I wanna try to work alone as I cant afford to be alwaes dependent on others for help but somehow, I failed. I really need help. So, u ppl might be thinking why de sudden thot to stop de tutoring session thing rite? Its bcoz I feel tt Im troubling Din. He's definitely a good tutor, tts for sure. My tears cant wait to be out frm my eyes but eventually I juz cried deep down in my heart. I managed to overcome tt stress of mine for awhile wif encouragements frm aeynn, tini, hilmi & even azeez.

De first thing I did when I reached home is to on de comp & be online. Din chatted wif me & dis is how our conversation goes:

<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
hey elfie....
-eLfyeE- says:
yupz?
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
wad was just now all abt?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
i also dun noe.. think tt i'm under stress
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
i think u shld relax.... empty yr mind and get some rest... after that you're good to go
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
wad ya mean?
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
as in relax je..... dont take studyin too hard...
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
u noe wat?i juz came back frm studying at tp lib&& i dun think i've absorbed wat i've studied
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
when just now?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
yupz
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
how come i didnt see u?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
im at level 5
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
i was at 7
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
but why u dont want me to tutor u?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
i feel tt im troubling u..
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
not at all....
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
in fact it helps me btw
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
it refreshes my memory and yours
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
dun u feel tt im such a letdown to u?
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
not at all...
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
is that why u want to hold it off?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
mayb.. overall rite, wat do think of my character so far?
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
erm i think u give up too easily when u know u can succeed..... u can do it no doubt tapi u look down upon yrself....
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
u have to tak kisah kan the world and concentrate.....then u can get it
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
dun ever give up.... believe in yrself.....
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
r u gonna give up on me if i give up on myself?
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
nope....
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
do u realize that u can do more than u think u can?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
i dun noe.. dun worry, im not giving up animore
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
thats the spirit
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
so wens the next session u boleh?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
frm monday-wednesday & friday, i cant be home late as i've religious class to attend after maghrib..
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
hows about 9 am in the mornin on monday?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
im starting my lessons at 9am on tt dae..
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
5pm on mon?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
i end at 5pm but i'll have to leave by 6pm...
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
so how? u nak?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
if it's fine wif u.. i dun mind it..
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
me too
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
so can?
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
yupz
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
alrite
<-----Zorro10----->..What a start!!.. says:
i gtg... cyu on mon
-eLfyeE- she's down says:
okay. bye

Read it already? As u can see, HE's DE ONE asking me when's de next tutoring session will be & NOT ME. It seems like he cares more bout my studies den my ownself. I've set dis clear on my mind:

NVR EVER GIVE UP ON URSELF DESPITE WATEVA OBSTACLES TT URE GOING THRU!!!! IF OTHERS CAN MAKE IT, WHY CANT I?? IF OTHER PPL BELIEVE TT I CAN MAKE IT, WHY CANT I??

Labels: she's down...